Author: Cook County Legal Providers and Coordinated Advice and Referral Program for Legal Services
Last updated: December 2011

This information will help you plan "together time" for your children and the non-residential parent. The non-residential parent is the parent that the child does not live with the majority of the time. Even if two parents have joint legal custody, normally one parent is the primary residential parent. These are not legal rules for visitation. They are just suggestions. Also, be aware that some courts now prefer to call it “parenting time” instead of “visitation.”

It is best for a child to regularly spend time with the non-residential parent. This lets the child know that the non-residential parent will still be an active part in their life.

Having a set visitation schedule gives a child stability. It also makes it easier for parents to organize their time and make sure that they can spend quality time with their child.

You should set up the visits differently for children of different ages. The child's feelings should always be considered.

Check with your local Court Clerk for any specific visitation guidelines. 

General Guidelines for All Visitation Plans

• Fights over visitation often come from past relationship problems between the parents. These fights can harm the parents’ relationship with the child. They may make the child feel as if these fights are their fault.
• Visitation is set up so that the child can have a good relationship with both parents. It is important for visitation plan to work for the child and not just for the parents. Parents should change the plan when the child's needs change. 
• Think about work schedules, school schedules, and the child’s extracurricular activities when planning a visitation schedule.
• Do not cancel visitation without a reason. Even if one parent has sole custody, the other parent has visitation rights. 
• Follow the visitation schedule. Only change or cancel for real emergencies. Tell the other parent as soon as you can if an emergency happens. If you need to make permanent changes to the visitation schedule, it should be in writing and agreed to by both parents..
• Talk directly to the other parent if you want to change the visitation schedule. Do not have the child pass messages back and forth.
• Child support has nothing to do with visitation. Do not stop visitation because the other parent is behind on child support.
• For families with more than one child, adjust these guidelines so the needs of each child are met.
• Parents should take the child to their regularly scheduled activities during visitation. The child should not miss sports, clubs, therapy, tutoring or other regular activities just because they are on visitation.
• Do not treat visitations as a break from schoolwork. Parents should make sure the child does their schoolwork during the visitation. 
• Summer vacation is a good time for visitation, but the child should go back to the residential parent at least 1 week before school starts. This will help them adjust to going back to school.

Visitation Guidelines for Infants to Age 2

• 1 to 2 hours, at least twice a week. It would be best if the visits were in the home of the residential parent. If not, the child should always be back with the residential parent at least 2 hours before bedtime.
• Only consider overnight visits if the visiting parent has been an active part in the daily care of the child. This includes feeding, changing, bathing, and caring for the child’s illnesses.
• Stop overnight visits if the child seems worried or upset about sleeping in a new place. Star them again when the child is comfortable.

Visitation Guidelines for Children, 2– 5 Years

• One full day each weekend, for about 8 hours. If the child is used to being alone with the non-residential parent, overnight visits may be okay. Overnight visits should be every other weekend, 2 days and the night in between.
• There should also be at least 1 weekday visit of 2 to 3 hours, usually around dinnertime.
• Always return the child at least 1 hour before bedtime.
• During summer vacation, visits should be 1 to 2 weeks. This can be all at once or split into 2 parts. Only visit this long if the child is comfortable with overnight visits.

Visitation Guidelines for Grade School Children, 6– 12 Years

• Every other weekend, Friday afternoon to Saturday night.
• There should also be at least 1 weekday visit of 2 to 3 hours, usually around dinnertime.
• Always return the child at least 1 hour before bedtime
• During summer vacation, visits should be 3 to 4 weeks. This can be all at once or split into 2 parts

Visitation Guidelines for Teens, 13– 18 Years

• At this age, the routine for parenting time should be flexible. Encourage frequent contact.
• Parents should be aware of the importance of the teen's social and school activities.
• Stick to a regular visitation schedule with the non-residential parent.
• During summer vacation, visits should be 4 to 6 weeks. This can be all at once or split into 2 parts.

Visits During the Holidays and School Breaks

• Change the regular schedule for holiday and school break visitation plans.
• Share major holidays equally. The child can spend half of their time with each parent. You can also alternate each holiday in even and odd years.
• Share school year vacations equally. This includes times such as Spring Break and Winter Break. The child can spend half of their time with each parent. You could also alternate school vacations in even and odd years.
• Share the child’s birthday, with each parent spending equal time with the child. The best way is for both parents to be at the child’s birthday party together.
• The child should be with each parent on that parent's birthday. They should also spend Mother's Day with the mother, and Father's Day with the father.

Long Distance Visitation - When Parents Live Far Apart

• If parents live too far apart, have longer visitations, but less often.
• Have visitation every Spring Break, instead of every other one.
• Have longer visitation during summer vacation than listed above.
• Have visitation on all three-day school holiday weekends.
• Have phone calls with the non-residential parent more often.
• Sometimes the residential parent may not be able to travel. The child may be too young to travel alone. The non-residential parent should travel to the child’s home city instead.

Caring For Your Child's Emotional Needs

For information on how to care for your child's emotional needs during a divorce, please read

Caring for Your Child's Emotional Needs During a Divorce